Do not know why, suddenly I ask myself, why my father love so much bout nursing. He did mention, good job. Can find job anywhere and everywhere. Helping people, but to me, it's all shit! The only thing in my mind is killing people when I work as nursing. Every time I see people want to get out of the hospital. Hospital isn't a place for healing? Why everyone hate hospital? Why people some go crazy after treatment? Why some go die off just like that after treatment.

"Nursing is all about saving. Do the best" I hate people say this verses. My life as student nurses, I have almost kill someone and people around me say it is just a learning process. Some people say, learning take place. But some say, learning shouldn't take place in doing mistake. But how we learn? Books? Mistake? Experience? In another words still, I can kill a life. So what nursing all about? Learning from mistake and improve. I can't stand this. Injured others to gain something. It an ass! Why can't they just let me go? Why they just want to think of themselves what is the best for me yet they can't see the disgust of the outcome? One day they will know, but that time, it's going to be too late to reverse. Who care? Nobody listen to me!! How can they say they care for me if they do not know what is happening in me? Selfishness can be seen in every living thing. Human just want the best even means... Even after graduate from university, nowadays a lot of them turned ill (mental illness). Why? I ask anyone who read this WHY? What the use of them? Who the hack want them in ASIA? You want? Why? Who make them to be like this? We all!!!! WE ARE THE ONE WHO CREATE MENTAL ILLNESS PATIENT!!! Think of how this mental illness formed at first.

THE TRUTH, THE MOST ACKNOWLEDGE MAN IN THIS WORLD IS A MENTAL ILL MAN.

We believe in what he said and what he did. So what does this mean? Even now we still study his words and knowledge. So what the hack are we want to acknowledge ourselves? But yet, this world is been design to work this way. No question or answers can support every single question and answer. Every question asked and answers has their own weakness.

I wish to have my normal life back before it is too late to do so. The effect is acting on me fast then ever. I can feel it. My body is rotten little by little... Can anyone save me?

I still want to life to see my friends and family including Bb. The only thing I can do now is smile and laugh when ever I with them...